Hot for Teacher

Cameron Diaz is about to star in R-rated comedy Bad Teacher and, much to my surprise, it actually looks pretty damn funny. Shades of Role Models & School of Rock.

And in honour of hot teachers everywhere…

The solos here are mental…

Winter is coming…

In two months, HBO will premiere their latest big budget series: “Game of Thrones” adapted from the book of the same name. The first instalment in George R R Martin’s fantasy epic “A Song Of Ice And Fire”

Starring Sean Bean,  Lena Heady, Iain Glen and a host of other acting talents, this promises to be one to watch.

Here’s a trailer…

The Game Begins

Friends and Co-conspirators

I know this is usually comic and film related but I’m going to take you on a little bit of a tangent here.

The past 12 months have not exactly been the best in my life... In fact, I’d go as far as to say they sucked balls, and not in a good way, but they could have been a lot worse. I’ve still got my arms, legs, dashing good looks and razor-sharp wit (Shush, you. Don’t spoil my self-deception…)

I wouldn’t have got through all of it without my mates and there’s a few who really stepped up and went above and beyond in supporting me, helping me get my head straight, making me laugh and giving me a kick up the pants when I needed it.

Rather than do a name’n’shame gushing praise blog post, I’ve opted for this:

I’ve picked a song that reminds me of each of them. If they read this, they’ll be able to tell which one is for them.

If you think one of these songs is for you, then I REALLY hope you picked the right one. Don’t ask me as I’ll be mortified if you’ve gone for the wrong one!

So, in no particular order of how much you guys mean to me, these are for you…

1) There’s no way they won’t know this is for them…

1a) Couldn’t pick one so they got two…

2) Yeah, well, this isn’t the hardest to work out.

3) This is for someone who will probably kill me for thinking of them when I hear this song, but tough.

4) This doesn’t describe the person in question, but it does remind me of singing it with them.

5) There’s one particular moment last year, where this song made me and the mate in question crease up.

Here’s to good mates, who’d help you bury a body and escape to Tijuana if need be. (Don’t go ignoring my calls, I’ve already bought two shovels) You’re awesome.

Dx

Death comes to us all, and it sucks the big one

I haven’t posted in a while, life got in the way. Sincere apologies, but I’ll rectify that starting today.

This post was originally going to be about the recent death of the Human Torch in Fantastic Four 587, segue into the forthcoming Death of Spider-Man in Ultimate Spider-Man and a look at how death can be handled in comics, both very well and very badly.

Then my uncle passed away suddenly last week and the topic seemed alternately timely but possibly a bit inappropriate. My uncle was a collector, to the Nth degree, and I think he would have understood my passion for comics, so I’m going to write this instead, a slightly longer review of Fantastic Four 587, and save my USM/Death blog for another time.

If you’ve not been reading Jonathan Hickman’s Fantastic Four, then you’re really missing out on what’s arguably the best run on the book since the Waid/Wieringo years. As the run has developed, threads from the early arcs have been brought together and weaved into one over-arching tapestry. He’s managed to bring in the key players in the FF’s universe, avoid the usual tropes and make the tales of comics’ first family feel fresh and exciting again. Something they’d struggled to be for a long time. The current arc promised a death that would shake the FF for ever, blah blah blah. Death? In comics? Back by Christmas usually. But the quality of Hickman’s storytelling, coupled with Steve Epting’s gorgeous pencils, really makes you feel that this IS a story that’s going to be important and remembered.

Last week’s issue, 587, came shipped in a sealed black bag, so no-one could spoil the ending until they’d bought the issue and opened their copy. I think the last time a major publisher did this was Superman 75 when he fell in battle against Doomsday. In the earlier issues of the arc the team had been split into three, with the previous issue ending showing each member in a perilous situation:

Reed (Mr Fantastic) was on an alien world about to get devoured by Galactus, trying to evacuate the inhabitants.

Sue (The Invisible Woman)was trying to stop an Atlantean Civil War between Namor’s imperial forces and a renegade tribe of Atlanteans. (Again? Seriously, they have so many inter-tribal fights down there, it’s like a waterlogged Africa. Geldof’ll knock up a charity song at this rate)

Johnny (The Human Torch) and Ben (A depowered Thing) were minding Reed & Sue’s children and their friends at the Baxter Building when an invasion force of mutated insect zealots (Don’t ask, it’ll take too long, just wiki “Annihilation Wave”) starts to pour in through a dimensional gateway Reed keeps around. (Why does he keep that around? Nothing EVER comes through that damn door with muffins or juice, only greebly invasions and powerhouse lunatics)

As the issue draws to a close Reed escapes being the garnish on Galactus’ dinner, Sue smacks Namor in the chops and tells him to stop being a dick, leaving Ben and Johnny to stem the tide of the alien invasion.

Here’s where Hickman shows his writing ability, for me at least. The only way to close the gateway is the controls on the other side, as the fighting has wrecked the console on Earth. It’s a well-worn plot device, the whole “noble sacrifice, one of us has to stay behind” but Hickman keeps things moving along at such a pace, that you forgive such an obvious move. The pacing and layout for the next few pages is perfect. The final exchange between Johnny & Ben. Ben’s sense of helplessness as he watches Johnny’s blaze of glory. The final image, of Ben, stressed back into his Thing form, slumped against the now-sealed portal, holding the heartbroken kids.

I think most readers had figured out that Johnny was the likely redshirt in the arc. In fact, I believe he’s the team member with the fewest previous deaths or near-death experiences, so it was his turn really! I hope that Hickman is allowed to let things unfold at his own pace and not be rushed by editorial mandate into bringing Johnny back too soon. I suspect FF 600 in a year’s time will either see his return or the start of a “Search for The Human Torch” storyarc

It’s quite a moving sequence and hits the right notes at the right times. As with ALL comic book deaths, you know full well he’ll be back sooner or later. But that’s ok, you can resurrect comic characters with impunity from fanboy slings and arrows so long as you write it well. Ed Brubaker’s work on Captain America with Bucky/Winter Soldier being a prime example.

It’s no coincidence that both books were illustrated by Steve Epting. Steve has been working in comics for several decades and has evolved into one of the best real-world artists today. He can draw the fantastic and the exotic, but make it seem as realistic as your PC, your keyboard or your hand in front of your face. Nothing seems impossible under his pencils. He’s got a real knack for facial expressions and communicating emotion. As opposed to, say, Mike Deodato and his three expression style. (There’s an blog in that one alone…)

If you’ve not read it already, hold fire and wait for the Omnibus hardcover which must be coming sooner or later. If you can’t wait, then Hickman’s run is already being collected, by storyarc.

Last word – My uncle worked as a mechanic restoring vintage cars. I nearly always saw him in navy blue overalls, but right now, I keep picturing him in an FF costume, smoking a cigar. It’s a little daft, but then, my family’s more than a touch eccentric so I figure it’s alright and he wouldn’t mind. I’ve still got the Sci-Fi omnibus he bought me for Christmas when I was 7 years old. It’s got the novels of 2001, Star Wars, Wrath of Khan & Close Encounters in there. Daft the things you keep hold of sometimes.

Rest in Peace, Uncle Chris.

Comic Reviews – 15/9

Three reviews this week. two from DC and one form Marvel. Unintentionally, they’re all team books, so I guess that’s a theme for the week.

Thunderbolts 148

The Thunderbolts concept has been reinvented several times in the almost-fifteen years that the book has been around. Currently, the team consists of reformed villains acting as supervisors and wardens to a new team of supercriminals, some hoping to win their freedom, others indulging their passion for violence and mayhem.

Jeff Parker continues to cement his reputation as one of the best team-book writers in the business, with a good mix of interplay between the characters in combat and downtime. He’s given everyone very distinct voices and allowed their personalities to come through effectively. The art on this issue is from Declan Shalvey rather than Kev Walker who drew the previous few issues. Shalvey’s art isn’t as sharp and angular as Walker’s can be, and is inked quite heavily here, given a thicker look to everything.

I’m enjoying the current direction of the book but feel it is suffering from constant tie-ins. Last issue was a cross over with Avengers Academy, this issue is part one of a two part tie-in to the Daredevil-centric Shadowland event. While Parker avoids the tie-in from overpowering his story, and finds time to progress his subplot involving the Asgardian girl and also Crossbones’ mutation, it still rankles that the book is not being allowed to stand on it’s own two feet, this early into the run.

Luke Cage, the hero currently directing the Thunderbolts programme, sends the team into Ninja-held territory in Manhattan (No, I’m not making this up) in an effort to locate the kidnapped son of an old friend. Ninjas tend to get a mite prickly when their territory is invaded so, unsurpsingly, wacky hijinx ensue. The issue ends on a good cliffhanger, unforced and natural. While I am unhappy at the tie-in nature of this story, I’m looking forward to the next issue.

 

Birds of Prey 5

Well, the first storyarc ended last issue, but segued nicely into this initial half of a a two-parter. Following her capture of the White Canary, Black Canary travels to face her nemesis, the sociopathic killing machine Lady Shiva. Her colleagues ignore the Canary’s warning to stay away, and head to Singapore in hot pursuit of their friend.

After Gail Simone’s critically acclaimed run on the previous Birds of Prey series, the book tumbled through a rapidly changing creative line-up before finally being cancelled,  a shadow of its’ former glory. This re-launch has sold like gangbusters but somehow doesn’t have the same zing that her previous work on the book did.

The inclusion of Hawk and Dove still baffles me, but I am a firm believer of TIG (Trust in Gail) as she’s an excellent writer and writes arguably the definitive versions of the book’s three main heroines.

Much hoopla was made of Gail reuniting with her first BOP collaborator Ed Benes. Benes is a great artist for a female-centric book. He’s capable of fantastic cheesecake shots, but equally brutal fight sequences. The guy is GOOD. Here’s the problem though; he’s not the artist here. In fact he only did half of the previous issue and has handed the reins to Alvin Lee & Adriana Melo. They’re not terrible, but they seem torn between closely aping Benes’ style and drawing like a mid-90s Wildstorm book. In the same way that Joe Quinones’ noses are a distinctive part of his work, so too are eyes here. Take a look, you’ll see it too.

While I’m happy to see Gail steering the book again, I’ve not been as enthused by the story as her previous work. Maybe she’s written her best material for these girls already? Or maybe she’s doing a slow burn here and I need to just TIG.

 

Green Lantern: Emerald Warriors 2

Firstly, i should point out that the cover is a bit misleading. The event shown happens on the very last page. So the actual cliffhanger gets spoiled by a cover that doesn’t really reflect the issue’s content. Guy Gardner, Earth’s number one mean, green, ass-kicking machine is preparing to head into the depths of space on a mission for the Guardians. Two other Green Lanterns, the former drill sergeant Kilowog (I' can’t wait to see how they pronounce that in the movie) and Arisia volunteer to accompany him.

All three of them have personal demons they’re struggling with at the moment and this road trip might be just the way clear things up. Peter Tomasi’s one of the unsung heroes of DC’s writing corps these days. He’s solidly produced some cracking Green Lantern tales and his run on Nightwing was excellent, the best the book had been since Chuck Dixon left.

He continues his work here, showing us Arisia’s guilt-induced nightmares of her former partner Sodam Yat and Kilowog’s frustration at yet more rookie Lanterns destined for ignominious deaths. Guy is worried he’s experiencing a relapse following his possession by a Red Lantern rage-enhancing ring.

Fernando Pasarin came onto the book from Justice Society of America and he seems more comfortable here. The art has shades of Dave Gibbons, which is appropriate given the title, but still manages to be distinctive and individual. The design for the new big bad, Zardor, is nice. Very different to the usual hi-tech sci-fi that the Corps faces off against.

My one complaint on the issue would be this: The art is fantastic but there are two points where it is very graphic and not suitable for an all-ages book. I don’t want to see a “mature Readers Only” label slapped on here but maybe the editor needs to find a way to tone down some of the more disturbing and unsettling imagery. I’m a big fan of the belief that you can scare more by showing less.

CLiNT Magazine Review - Addendum

I’ve been told I came across a little harsh in my recent review of CLiNT. They’re right, I was harsh and possibly a little too angry at the finished product.

In an effort to take a step back, I thought I’d clarify a few things and my feelings on it.

I love the fact that someone has tried to launch a new modern comics periodical in the UK. It’s a laudable endeavour and vital in maintaining an interest in the medium. In an age of immersive video games, online or not, comics are losing ground rapidly in the UK, even faster the the US. Comics aren’t as readily available in the UK as in the States and so face an even steeper uphill struggle to gain market penetration.

Where I take issue, is the fact CLiNT feels like a sniggering boys-club product. It’s Mark Millar and his mates having a laugh. I suppose this is good, because you should enjoy what you do, but bad because they’re only setting out to entertain themselves, rather than their audience. If you want existing comic heads to buy it, put in mostly NEW material. If you want new readers to pick it up, put in BETTER material.

Reprinting lacklustre, facile and bland comic strips will not sustain this project. As I said in my initial review, Kick-Ass 2 is a draw, but not enough. Did I mention that there’s no “Previously"…” details for Kick-Ass? If you’ve not seen the film or initial comic, you won’t have clue one about what the hell is going on.

Ahhhh, maybe it’ll improve once the reviews are in, but I don’t hold out much hope. Sorry Mark!

Review – CLiNT Magazine #1

So yeah, Mark Millar’s new magazine CLiNT came out this week, via early release at Forbidden Planet courtesy of Titan Publishing. Bit of a lengthy review, this one, but I feel it’s warranted.

It’s a brave move from Millar/Titan; I can’t remember the last successful launch of an anthology comic in the UK. 2000AD’s continued existence shows that there IS a market for regular serialised comic books in this country but beyond the American format X-Men and Batman reprints currently on the shelves, there’s no real outlet for NEW material currently.

What’s really noticeable about CLiNT is that fact that most of,  the material is reprints. That and the fact it’s £3.99. :-/

Issue 1 gives us the following: 8 pages of Kick-Ass 2, before it gets printed in the US by Marvel. The entire first issue of Jonathan Ross' and Tommy Lee Edwards’ Turf clocking in at 26 pages, 11 pages of the Frankie Boyle-penned Rex Royd and 23 pages of Millar’s recent project Nemesis. Including covers, the magazine clocks in at 100 pages. Now I would imagine that they’re aiming this at people who don’t necessarily buy the American editions of the books reprinted within, so that’s a fair whack of funnybook for your hard earned 3.99. Ads are kept down to 10 pages total too, only appearing between strips, rather than in the midst of them. It's a nice touch and one which I really appreciated.

The strips themselves are a mixed bag. The much touted Kick-Ass 2 is painfully short giving you two amusing but short scenes. John Romita Jr’s art is typically good, less crosshatching than he’s been using recently, so it looks a little cleaner. The colouring is muted, retaining the real world feel of the previous volume, but has gone a little overboard with the Photoshop textures. The story segues nicely from the end of the previous volume and could very easily have been a follow-on issue, rather than the new series. One criticism I would level at it, is that there is no “Previously, on Kick-Ass…” so if you haven’t read the first volume or seen the movie, you’re going to be pretty confused. The Kick-Ass 2 strip is clearly the big hook for the magazine, with the strip getting published here several months ahead of an American release.

I previously commented on Turf in one of my weekly review columns so here’s the Cliff Notes version: Nice art, but obscured by overly wordy & excessive amounts of dialogue. Nothing ground-breaking in the story but an ambitious mash-up of Prohibition-era period drama, horror and sci-fi. Without the famous writer attached, I doubt it would have done particularly well. As of now, only 2 issues of Turf have been published. If CLiNT is going to stick to it’s schedule of every 4 weeks, expect Turf to get a reduced page count, or skipped entirely while they wait for the material to get published in America.

Rex Royd reads very much like a 2000AD story. The art is similar to, but nowhere near as good as, John McCrea of DC’s The Demon & Hitman fame. A corporate heavy realizes he is in fact the real CEO and had asked to have his real identity concealed so he could enjoy being normal for a while. By the end of the strip, this has been turned on it’s head and did pique my curiosity enough to consider buying the next issue. Not bad Mr Boyle. I don’t like your comedy but your comic is better than Wossy’s so far.

The last major strip is Millar’s other movie-treatment cash cow Nemesis. Ugh, I really can’t describe how much I dislike this stuff. Steve McNiven turns in arguably his worst work  in years, Millar pumps another attempt to hit Hollywood gold with a few quips in an effort to make this seem like a comic, rather than a licensing bid. McNiven can produce crisper, art than this, look at Marvel's Civil War to see what I mean. Here's his work looks drab, maybe that's more down to the colorist, but I didn't get the dynamism form his art that I did when he drew Civil War. All in? A waste of pages. In case you’ve been lucky enough to miss any of Nemesis so far, here is the premise: What if Batman was a villain? Oh and wore white. How revolutionary, the bad guy is wearing white. See what he did there? Reversing your expectations? Spare me…

There’s a short strip featuring a redneck, desert dweller fighting a zombie ninja and struggling to have his friends believe him. By that point I think I was losing interest. Not sure if it was a one-off or to be continued.

The remainder of the magazine features an interview with Jimmy Carr (Good) and a short Q&A with Christopher Mintz-Plasse who played Red Mist in the Kick-Ass movie (Bad). There’s an article on Charles Manson’s Celebrity to-do list (Creepy) and the revelation that English Language films use voice actors when they’re dubbed in different languages (So?). The last two points I’ll cover are what made me feel this was really little more than a vanity project for Millar and his friends: Deeply Moral babes showed a rather overly made-up Oxfam worker in her civvies, while reading “Top Ten TV Mums” was like listening in on teenage boys sniggering on the bus. What age group is this aimed at? the comics are usually labelled mature readers while the features swing between the puerile and the informative, if irrelevant.

I’d love for the format to take off and be a success, but based on the content of the first issue, I don’t feel there’s anywhere near enough to get people hooked long-term. They can’t string Kick-Ass 2 out forever, surely?… By all means, give the first issue a try. As I said, there are a lot of story pages in there, a smattering of articles and you might enjoy the stories if you've not read comics in a while.